


x1: life in the dreamhouse

by orphan_account



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Boy Kissing, Crack, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Texting, groupchat, minipyo are soulmates and i won’t take no for an answer, more ships coming soon :D, not with underage line i’m not nasty, u welcome, we need more crack fics so i made one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 23:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20022478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: loud #3: who dares disturb my slumberloud #2: ANNEYONG ಠ_ಠloud #1: ANNEYONG ಠ_ಠloud #3: ANNEYONG ಠ_ಠginger: oh my god they are evolvingchacha: maam can i plz get a waffle... can i PLZZZ get a waffle....an x1 texting fic because we need more crack but it’s also cute i’m a minipyo whore





	x1: life in the dreamhouse

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo plz enjoy this mess i’m on actual drugs <3

8:27 am

seungwoo created: “X1 Members”

seungwoo added seungyoun, wooseok, yohan, hangyul, dongpyo, minhee, junho, eunsang, hyeongjun, and dohyun to “X1 Members” 

seungyoun gave wooseok admin rights

wooseok named the conversation “big headache”

“big headache”

wooseok changed wooseok to mom  
mom changed seungwoo to dad  
mom changed seungyoun to loud #1  
mom changed hangyul to loud #2  
mom changed dohyun to loud #3  
mom changed yohan to panicker  
mom changed junho to chacha  
mom changed dongpyo to baby  
mom changed hyeongjun to bigger baby  
mom changed eunsang to ginger  
mom changed minhee to white shirt tall

white shirt tall: WHY DOES HE GET ADMIN RIGJTS WHAT IS A WHITE SHIRT TALL

dad: he stole my phone after i made the group chat i am sorry

ginger: red heads aren’t even ginger WHY

baby: CHANGE MY NAME

mom: no u r baby

dad: no u r baby

loud #1: no u r baby

white shirt tall: no u r baby

panicker: no u r baby

loud #2: no i am baby (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

chacha: why do i exist..... just to suffer?

ginger: JUNHO EMO

chacha: toaster bathing xx

bigger baby: dongpyo mad becuz im taller and still baby

baby: jima jijima, pogihajima... 

mom: where is a little giant baby man youngest member cutie

dad: plz tell me u are not describing dohyun

mom: hearts and love.. xx.... xoxo... 

panicker: just realized my name is panicker what does that mean

white shirt tall: NO ONE TELL HIM

loud #1: HAAAHAHAHAHAH

panicker: NOW I AM ACTUALLY PANICKING

loud #3: who dares disturb my slumber

loud #2: ANNEYONG ಠ_ಠ

loud #1: ANNEYONG ಠ_ಠ

loud #3: ANNEYONG ಠ_ಠ

ginger: oh my god they are evolving

chacha: maam can i plz get a waffle... can i PLZZZ get a waffle....

dad: wat does that mean

panicker: ^

mom: these locals....... it’s ok chacha i understand u i am up to date with the funny me me’s

baby: AND I OOP SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKKSS OOP SKSKSKSKSK

white shirt tall: REMOVE HIM YOUR HONOR!

ginger: if my suspicions are right this will just be old guys versus young fresh boned teens minus dohyun because he was corrupted

loud #3: OOPS!

loud #1: WE HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE THEN ALL U YOUNG RATS

bigger baby: sorry sir all i hear is ur brittle bones cracking while u type

mom: NOOO DJJADJJAJ

baby: LORDDDDDDDD

white shirt tall: we 2002 (⊙ω⊙)

ginger: we 2002 (⊙ω⊙)

chacha: we 2002 (⊙ω⊙)

baby: we 2002 (⊙ω⊙)

bigger baby: we 2002 (⊙ω⊙)

panicker: lowkey feeling kind of threatened

loud #1: WE LOUD ಠ_ಠ

loud #2: WE LOUD ಠ_ಠ

loud #3: WE LOUD ಠ_ಠ

dad: WE DAD ◉‿◉

mom: WE MOM ◉‿◉

panicker: hello my name is kim yohan... im the center of group x1... please help me...

baby: hEEHEE

dad: FOCUS!!!!!  
dad: this groupchat is for serious conversations only!! group business!!

white shirt tall: dongpyo can u come back to the room i want to rewatch one punch man and i need a pillow

baby: yes!

ginger: NOT FAIR WHERE IS MY PILLOW JUNHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO plz

chacha: .......i’m coming

ginger: :DD

mom: seungwoo u are losing control

dad: ........yohan let me give u head pats 

panicker: STO P IM BLUSHINGGGG  
panicker: im coming now

bigger baby: WAT ABOUT ME!

dad: HEAD PATS COME HERE TOO!!!

bigger baby: YAAAAAAA

mom: *AUDIBLE SIGH*

loud #1: looks like it’s me and u now mami

mom: where is the rest of ur kind

loud #1: they are playing minecraft

mom: ..... meet me outside i want to go to the field again

loud #1: WE GETTIN COOCHIE

mom: I AM A MAN

baby: HAVE FUN STAY SAFE <3

chacha: NASTIES

loud #2: GET SOME!!!! MY MAN!!!!

red head: plz say no homo

mom: U FIRST

red heard: UR RIGHT HAVE FUN!!!

panicker: scared... i’m scared

dad: :}

%%

11:32 am

“pyo and mini <3”

pyo: hai

mini: yes bae

pyo: don’t call me bae

mini: okay baeby

pyo: das better :D

mini: is something wrong

pyo: nope

mini: then why are u texting me i am right in front of u

pyo: i wanted to say i luv u but dohyun is next to us  
pyo: so i luv u  
pyo: AWWWWW U GIGGLE

mini: SHAT UP

pyo: give me a kith

mini: right here? ><

pyo: THEY ALL KISS EACH OTHER IT WILL LOOK NORMAL  
pyo: just the cheek

mini: I SEE

pyo: :D

mini: u r too cute  
mini: but dohyun is suspicious now

pyo: he has the memory of a goldfish don’t worry

mini: U RIGHT!!

pyo: PERIOT!!!!

mini: <3

pyo: <3 

%%

11:42 am

“funniest people ever”

dohyun oppar: yo i think dongpyo and minhee are dating

hangyul oppar: yeah

seungyoun oppar: yeah

dohyun oppar: OH!  
dohyun oppar: okay just making sure everyone else sees that too becus they kis**d in front of me 

seungyoun oppar: NASTY

hangyul oppar: why are u acting like u don’t tell everyone your activities with wooseok

seungyoun oppar: no comment

dohyun oppar: HAHAHA

%%

3:21 am

“big headache”

bigger baby: if wooseok is mom and seungwoo is dad but seungyoun and wooseok are engaging in sexual activities doesn’t that mean it’s incest

ginger: wait......

dad: okay

dad changed dad to responsible leader  
responsible leader changed mom to whore

baby: THE SHADEEE

whore: why are u all awake practice ended  
whore: AND WHO SAID ME AND SEUNYOUNG ARE DOIG THAT!!!  
whore: AND IM MOT A WHORE

white shirt tall: ....

ginger: ...

loud #1: my bad

loud #2: LOL

responsible leader: GO TO SLEEP U STUPID HEADS

baby: yes papa

white shirt tall: GOODNIGHT!!!!

%%

6:10 am

“big headache”

panicker: how are u demons awkae at 3am

loud #3: period

panicker: i guess its just me and u now dohyunnie

loud #3: going back to sleep gn <3

panicker: ( ; _ ; )/~~~

chacha: it’s ok yohan i never slept in the first place  
chacha: im immortal 

panicker: WTF GO TO SLEEP

chacha: period luv

panicker: i am going to assume that is goodnight in 2002 language

chacha: ◉‿◉

panicker: scared sir...... i’m scared.......

%%

8:45am

Minhee slaps the disgusting alarm that blares in his ears and feels his body unconsciously hold the heat source laying on him tighter. The heat source making a whining sound. Wait. A MURDERER! Minhee opens his eyes slowly to see black hair laying on his chest, tiny arms wrapped around his chest, and tiny feet wrapped around his own. 

His heart fills with warmth. It’s just Dongpyo, his boyfriend. He’ll never get used to that. After watching him sleep peacefully for awhile, Minhee really needs to pee.

“Dongpyo...” he says softly while nudging the smaller boy. He whines again and shoves his nose into Minhee’s collarbone. He is so adorable it’s scary. “Dongpyo.. it’s time to wake up, baby.” His boyfriend looks up at the last word and smiles lazily, eyes still have closed and face relaxed, “I like that nickname.” But then he leans in for a kiss and accidentally smashes his forehead against Minhee’s. 

“Stupid...” Minhee mumbles and rubs Dongpyo’s forehead as he’s now laying next to him whining about it. “Yeah, but you love me.” The taller man has had enough as he turns around and hovers over Dongpyo, staring into his eyes for a few seconds before he attacks his face and neck with pecks. Dongpyo screams and writhes under him but Minhee just smiles. 

Then there’s a knock on the door, and it opens. Dongpyo accidentally kicks Minhee’s shins while he pushes him off and onto the floor. “Hey, it’s time for practice...” Seungwoo trails off, “What is going on here?”

“Nothing,” they both say in unison. Seungwoo flips his gaze from a red Dongpyo on the bed and a red Minhee on the floor, massaging his shins. “You know guys, I’m okay with you dating, but I need to teach you about safety. Do you both know about safe sex?” At that Minhee jumps off the ground and pushes their leader back into the hallway. “Okay, we’ll get ready! Give us five minutes!” And closes the door on a smiling Seungwoo.

Minhee stars at his giggling boyfriend unamused, but it doesn’t last long until he’s joining Dongpyo and their both laughing uncontrollably.

“Okay, we need to actually get ready,” Dongpyo says still out of breath. “An actual kiss this time?” Minhee asks, with puppy dog eyes for the extra effect. They smile at each other and Dongpyo reaches up on his toes to kiss Minhee properly. It’s smooth and relaxed, full of love. Dongpyo still struggles to grab ahold of his too-tall boyfriends neck to pull him closer, so Minhee grabs his thighs and Dongpyo jumps up to be carried by him. They move together so fluidly, with all the secret make out sessions and surprise kisses they’ve done over the last few weeks giving them practice. 

Dongpyo holds Minhee close to him as the the latter squeezes the grip he has on his waist. Minhee ends it with one final smooch after pulling away. Dongpyo’s smile could rival the sun and he hops back out of his boyfriends arms to actually start getting ready. Minhee wonders what he did to get this lucky. Probably was a baby saver or something in his past life.

%%

4:10 pm

“2002 CULT”

bhad bhyeongjun: :(

xxxpyotentacion: WHAT HAPPENED

nicki minheeaj: WHO NEEDS TO BE FOUGHT

bhad bheyongjun: U GUYS NEED TO BE FOUGHT

mc priki: WHAT DID WE DO

lil chacha: EXPLAIN

bhad bhyeongjun: U GUYS ARE DATING EACH OTHER AND IM ALL ALONE

xxxpyotentacion: NO WE ARE NOT

bhad bhyeongjun: EVERYONE KNOWS U AND MINHEE FUCKIN

nicki minheeaj: GASP

lil chacha: i cant take this seriously because of our names

bhad bhyeongjun: DONT ACT ALL COCKY JUNHO I KNOW WHAT U AND EUNSANG ARE UP TOO

mc priki: I HAVE NO IDEA WAT U ARE TALKING ABOUT  
mc priki: WE ARE ONLY FRIENDS.... WHO CUDDLE.... A LOT

xxxpyotentaction: not for long

lil chacha: i mean.................... ^_-

mc priki: omg stop (*/ω＼*)

bhad bhyeongjun: DISGUSSTTINGGG

nicki minheeaj: it’s okay hyeongjun ur cute u will find someone

bhad bhyeongjun: i DID FIND SOMEONE KANG MINHEE

lil chacha: omg he’s gonna start again

bhad bhyeongjun: KIM KINKYU......................... MY LOST LOVE

mc priki: STOP U CAN ALWAYS RALK TO HIM AGAIN

bhad bhyeongjun: NO ITS NOT LIKE BEFORE! PRODUCE WAS RIGGED I LOST MY MANS!

xxxpyotentacion: THEN GET OVER HIM AND FIND A NEW MANS INSTEAD

bhad bhyeongjun: UR RIGHT I NEED TO MOVE ON  
bhad bhyeongjun: maybe to representative lee dong wook if u know wat i mean

nicki minheeaj: NO

mc priki: GET OUT

lil chacha: HAAAHAHAHAHAH

xxxpyotentacion: THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS I SAY GO FOR IT

nicki minheeaj: FIRST OF ALL ITS ILLEGAL SECOND OF ALL ANY OTHER GUY WOULD BE DYING FOR U HYEONGJUN GET BACK OUT THERE!

bhad bhyeongjun: OK I UNDERSTAND NOW THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE WILL NEED TO HAVE THIS CONVO  
bhad bhyeongjun: IM A SEXY MAN AND I WILL FIND SOMEONE MEANT FOR ME

lil chacha: this hoe is gonna come back 4 days later crying about minkyu again after watching his produce moments

xxxpyotentacion: u right

mc priki: HAAAHAHAH

bhad bhyeongjun: BLOCKED!

%%

4:32 pm

new twitter notifications! 

@hyeongjunzzboob tweeted: need new friends... xx.... feelings hurt

replies:  
@junhotoes replying to @hyeongjunzzboob: WE DONT LIKE U ANYWAYS

@eunsangie replying to @hyeongjunzzboob: BYEEEE

@minheeisahoe replying to @hyeongjunzzboob: ANNYEONG CHINGU

@dongpyopyopyo replying to @hyeongjunzzboob: I STILL LOVE U HYEONGJUN!!!

@hyeongjunzzboob replying to @dongpyopyopyo: U THE REAL ONE

%%

4:50 pm

new twitter notifications!

@seungyounpee tweeted: 2002 line being annoying on the tl again... not surprised

replies:  
@junhotoes replying to @seungyounpee: ok old man *insert twice sana fancam*

@seungyounpee replying to @junhotoes: anyways stan uniq *insert uniq eoeo stage fancam*

**Author's Note:**

> THATS IT! new chapters coming soon! I AM A GENIOUS FOR THE RAPPER NAME PARTS I LAUGHED AT MYSELF plz tell me if this is good or not i need validation


End file.
